Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell A: Head and shoulders. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Jaques Cousteau. Only this curse was not humorous at all. Zippo? All the funny items on this website are fictitious. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. ", Robert Bickford ([email protected])================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. (crowd cheers). 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Get a random spoof news story. Key'n'Stroke. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. Explanation of WPA. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. plunger. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. . A: Timbuktoo. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. In article <[email protected]> [email protected] (Mr. Blore) writes. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? A: Executive action. Q: What do you call not getting busted? "You Light Up My Life.". Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Double hernia. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. What is missing here is his delivery. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Q: Name three people who like to bomb. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? . Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. . , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Can't decide? A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Watch now: Free with ads. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. A: Bi-focal. A: Chariots of the Gods. Hand made. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! A: Groundhog. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: Fondue. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? View all. The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. Q: Name three movements. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. . One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. No more years! In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: Los Angeles Dodgers. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Line: 192 Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? Prime Video. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. A: Disjoint. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Hoffa. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Line: 107 May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. A: Short eyes. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. Images tagged "johnny carson". QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). A: Flyswatter. A: Green thumb. A: The Sugarland Express. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling A: The Rock of Gibralter. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? The book is {\it May You! Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: The Laughing Policeman. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. I forgot aboutyour total recall. Box 4, Folder 46. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. Commissary. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force Youre the straight man. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. this year? . A: Grape Nuts. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: Fit to be tied. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. tooth? Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. Line: 24 Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? A: 2001. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). questions having never shorts. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. A: 2001. doctors. (Wait for it! A: Shake and bake. Inning. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. A: Old wive's tale. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Carson . In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Carnac the Magnificent. A: Tail of Two Cities. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. A: Trapper John. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. A: Kaiser wrap. Story. The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? A: Old wives tale. "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? A: "Coming home." Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. share. The character was introduced in 1964. says? . juice? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: [email protected] One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. . Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. A: Deep freeze. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. tissue. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. night? CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. A: Kumquat. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? A: Burn the candle at both ends. . A: Blazing Saddles. . , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php
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